Hi... Im Bella

I occupy that rarest place at the center of the Venn diagram of hot, sane, and fun. I am an urban hedonist, with great taste in restaurants and art, and I always know some amazing little place we can go. I have a low tolerance for snobbery, have zero dietary restrictions, and I’m a non-judgmental listener with a healthy appetite for a good story. Actually, I have quite a lot of appetites. I’m also double jointed and look like I stepped fully formed out of a Frank Frazetta painting.

I’m not for everybody, but you’ll know right away if I’m for you.

Portland Escort Bella Belmondo

What about you?

But enough about me. You’re only a little bit here for me. You’re mostly here for you, which is why I’ve devised this clever compatibility test–Please consider the following questions:

Do you believe that brunettes are hotter than blondes?

Do you also consider yourself a person of appetites?

Do you believe that fun should be easy?

If so, I think we’ll get along. Bonus points if you like women in lingerie and/or enjoy movies.

Vibes? impeccable.
possibilities? endless.

if you feel like...

the best experiences usually aren’t part of the plan, bread should be good for you, everything is more fun with (the right) company, time is more valuable than money, attitude is everything

maybe we could talk about...

philosophy (but not politics), movies (but not celebrities), which artists we think were the horniest in their day, our craziest ideas for inventions, music, the most surprising thing you’ve accidentally said in mixed company, the books we haven’t read yet, our favorite places in the world, anything and everything that comes to mind.

let's go...

midday bowling, late-night burlesque-watching, for a diner breakfast, to a drag brunch, flea market shopping, for rooftop steak frites, to a basement jazz show, neighborhood wandering, to a tapas bar for dinner, to your favorite hole-in-the-wall for lunch, museum exploring